My tendancy to fall prey to the pull of "popular" TV has already been discussed. But this week I found a new level of this would-be addiction.

I consider myself to have a very non-addictive personality. Addicting, maybe (yeah, right), but not addictive. I'll admit that in the last year I have picked up my only two vices: Taco Bell and coffee, but nothing to the point that it caused any alarm. That was then; this is now; I'm scared.

It started out harmlessly enough...I've had my days free and the weather was icky so I flipped on the boob tube. I found fast friends in the guise of Montel, Maury, Jerry Springer, Rikki, and even Jenny Jones. Who knew how much I was missing by only watching the snippets of these masterminds provided by Talk Soup! But that's not what has made me so scared...not at all. I can safely report that I don't pay much heed to the "tomorrow on Montel..." announcements and plan ahead to watch. I don't even know which shows are on which channels at which times. What scrares me is the commercials.

If you've watched even one talk show all the way through, you know what I'm talking about. At least four times during every talk show, between the commercials for the other talk shows and tomorrow's special episode are the psychic hotline commericals. Now don't think that I've turned into some knock-off Lelaina Pierce, I haven't actually called one of these freak lines, but I've learned a very interesting lesson in thresholds.

Assuming these commercials show 4 times per talk show and I've probably watched 15 various talk show episodes now would indicate that I've seen these pleas for idiots 60 times. OK, you're had enough with the math lesson. My startling point is that in the beginning I reacted as would be expected of the run-of-the-mill educated American and simply laughed at the thought of anyone actually calling these cooks, despite the first call being free. Normal reaction, no? But I've discovered that I'm nearing my threshold. No, I'm nowhere near calling, but I'd say at about 50 viewings I started thinking..."I wonder what it's really like talking to them...I wonder what they would say if you let them know you didn't believe...and after all - it is free...".

Most people giggle when I tell them about this and ask if they think it's normal. But I've realized that it's only because they have never been placed in this situation. I'd imagine my threshold is considerably high, due to my lack of vices and the fact that I was able to give up (thoughI thought about it night and day) Taco Bell for two months (or was it just one month that felt like two months?). SinceI started considering the call at 50 viewings, I think I'd actually cross the threshold and dial somewhere around 100. And I'm talking about consecutive viewings...seeing the commerical on a regular basis. And I'm not talking about becoming an addict, I'm talking about just calling once and feeling silly about it and never cosidering it again.

It definitely opens up some very interesting aveunes of thought. My most interesting reaction is to want to destroy the remote control. I know that denial is the first sign of an addiction, but I wouldn't classify wanting to maim the remote as denial. I know the remote isn'tanagent of these psychics and all I did was glare at the poor thing for asecond - I never made any move against it. And though I was worried I would feel very alone, I made it through the weekend just fine. I took Lyle to the new beach and the new park and discovered there is life outside the house during the day. The real test will be tomorrow whenI have to choose between the lure of women whose sisters are having affairs with their husbands and life outside the television set. It will be interesting to see what happens, though I look forward to theescape working during the day offers. I now know I can never be a housewife (not that I ever wanted to!) and stay normal without canceling my cable TV!

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