Do I feel like an idiot or what? Yet again have I crossed paths with a TV persona and yet again have I crashed and burned while doing so. Maybe this isn't quite as bad as that cruise I took with (well not with him, but we were on the same boat for crying out loud!) Fred Savage a few years ago. It's still too painful to relate that story, but let it be known that I now only have minimal trouble watching The Wonder Years without cringing.

This time it wasn't on a boat, it was on plane. And this time it wasn't a little pipsqueek, it was a big pipsqueek.

I was on my way home from Boston and was spending my hour in Pittsburgh (home of Gabe's retail outlet--never been there, just heard of it and its deals "guess how much this shirt was! $2!") waiting at the gate for my LAX flight to leave and hoping the hangover would go away soon.

They had done most the flight boarding so I was waiting around 'till the end (as standby passengers do) and lo and behold, who do I see at my gate, but John Henson from E!'s Talk Soup! Well I decided this was an opportunity not to be missed, so I approached him (actually I ran up behind him and tapped him because it's impossible to remember while under stress whether his name is John or Jim--and is he related to the Muppets anyway?) and asked if he was going to LAX. He said yes, he was going to LAX, so I took his acknowledging me as a good thing and thought I'd try my luck getting a little farther with things. I asked him if he would mind if I got my seat changed so I could sit closer to him on the flight. No I wasn't hitting on him! Sheesh! Why does everyone think that? I just think we have compatible personalities/senses of humor and would have had a great time sitting next to each other.

But it doesn't really matter because he said he would mind if I sat next to him. But he was kind about it and explained that he had been up since 5 that morning and was really tired and just wanted to rest. So I said something stupid about it still being exciting to have met him and sat back down and tried to decide whether or not it had really been that bad to have been snubbed by him. Then something hit me. I had bought one of those big soft pretzels upon my arrival in Pittsburgh and had finished eating it a mere few moments before seeing him. Did I have food in my teeth while I was talking to him? I didn't know and I didn't want to know so I didn't look in a mirror for the next 12 hours.

The next day I reluctantly tuned into Talk Soup and prayed he wouldn't say anything about our encounter infront of all his viewers. He immediately started complaining about his awful weekend. First he ranted about my airline for a while..."and then" he had to deal with delays and missed flights..."and then" the stewardesses kept bugging him about Seņor Sock..."and then"... He had about 10 "and then"'s and every time I froze and thought it was going to be about me, but fortunately none of them were.

I don't know if this means that the universe doesn't revolve around me as closely as I thought it did, or if he was just being nice, or if I wasn't up to par compared to his other annoyances, or if it was because I had food in my teeth (oh please no!). Whatever the reason, I do feel badly about the whole thing. Unfortunately, I couldn't find John's email (but I did find his possible home phone...it's scary how thorough switchboard is) so John, if you happen to be reading this, I'm sorry for bugging you. My Chihuahua and I are great fans and watch Talk Soup every chance we get and Lyle (the Chihuahua in question) has even asked me about dying a skunk spot on him, but as of yet I've refused him.

Had the J.H. fiasco not occured I would surely have made a much bigger deal about this, my Tale of the Mintless Mint, but as it is it pales in comparison, but should definitely still be mentioned.

3/96