It looked like an ordinary Breath Savers® candy, but it wasn't. It wasn't a Breath Savers® at all! The package was sealed, but there was no mint in it. I received this mint on that same fateful flight on which I was shunned by John Henson. So you can imagine how upsetting it was to have my heart strings pulled like this!

I'm going to contact Nabisco about this, and I'm hoping they'll send me a replacement mint. Their address is fortunately on the wrapper of my mintless mint:

Nabisco Inc.
PO Box 41
Winston-Salem, NC 27102

I thought I'd look to see if they also had a web site and in doing so found some very interesting stuff. Of course I started out using Webcrawler, search engine for the impatient, and plugged in the simple word: "lifesavers." I thought I'd be sure to pick up the correct site on the first try, but lo and behold, the first thing picked up was this. I'd be the first to rally for all pets deserving home pages, but I don't know if I can honestly say that I'd group dead pets in that group. If Lyle passed on to greener pastures, I'd immediately axe all his pages - I just couldn't bear the thought of them up there. And did you check out how many people hit Lifesaver's page? I was viewer 697 (and 698)! And to think that they updated the page after his death...wow. That's alone is a little unsettling to say the least! But maybe they were just waiting for the film with pictures of Lifesavers on it to develop. No, live shots of the cat, you sickos!

By the by, CONDOMMAN was number 12 on Webcrawler's "lifesavers" seach list. Unfortunately it came back "file not found" when I tried to load its URL.

Seeing Lifesaver's memorial site made me wonder if his owners (ex-owners?) had ever seen Schrodinger's cat. It's actually pretty fun for a while...try it!

Using altavista later I did find the real Life Saver's Page. It's a fairly new site, so that explains the mix-up with the dead cat. It's more of a Nabisco site than a Life Saver's site, but there is a form you can put your email address in if you want to be alerted when the page is updated. I took the liberty of submitting the addresses of some of my (soon-to-be-not-so-close) friends. Sorry if you were one of them.